Guess who’s back, back again?! Hint: it’s ME! That week off was fabulous and I considered taking another one off but then I remembered there are people RELYING ON MY RECAPS! And I just have to give the people what they want.
This episode was just fucking horrible and I’m sorry to anyone who wasted two hours of their lives watching it. Anywho – let’s belly flop right in.
Another week, another peloton commercial!
Not me crying while Bri’s crying about seeing her family. We. Must. PROTECT. At. All. Costs.
Michelle’s Hometown
It’s a pickup hug!!!
No no no please don’t bring Zoom to the Bachelor I’ve already been on for 6 hours today.
That was adorable though.
The Bachelor brings out the best dads. Michelle’s dad is so precious.
She would say yes if Matt proposed🥺🥺
I can’t cry anymore this episode! It’s only been 20 minutes!!
Michelle’s parents are angels. Period. End of story.
And now they are playing pickup basketball?! That swish by her mom! Damn shawty!
Michelle is falling in love! I’m glad she got this off her chest. We know what happens when you hold back! Aka Ben from Tayshia’s season.
Plz don’t break her heart, Matt.
He didn’t say he was falling in love with her back?? But he said it to Rachel??
Rachel’s Hometown
Once again, Matthew James is the only man who is allowed to wear jeans.
That poor camera woman who had go in the air with them. Sis was getting tossed around like a Caesar salad.
Matt looks like he’s going to throw up.
Damn that fall was really rough. Ouch.
Rachel’s meeting with the family was uneventful. Her dad gave me weird vibes.
I like that Matt is not asking all the families for permission! Colton was asking everyone and their cat’s dads for permission to marry them so this feels more authentic.
Bri’s Hometown
Bri is the cutest little chicken nugget ever to walk the planet.
Is she tall enough to drive??
Bri being nervous about not being able to give Matt the conventional family😭. I’m cryin’ in da club!
These girls definitely watched Tayshia’s season because they are leaving it all on the line!
Bri’s mother is a gem of a women.
Ugh Matt say your falling in love back to her!!
Serena’s Hometown
I just don’t see it with Serena. She seems so young to me and not into Matt!
Girl looks great in a ponytail though.
Sometimes I forget that the girls have to decide if they like the Bachelor too. It’s not just up to Matt to decide.
All these girls have past breakups that we know nothing about!!!
Uhh so Serena is going home, right?
I think if I had to listen to Serena’s sister’s voice for more than one minute I would skydive without a parachute.
Matt goes to Serena’s room and tries reaaallllyy hard to get her to stay. Since when does he like her this much?
And she just broke up with him. Watching Matt driving away in the back of the suburban made me almost forget he was the Bachelor.
The girls are trying not to smile after hearing that Serena isn’t coming to the rose ceremony lol.
Okay soooo do we dissect this order of roses handed out?? First went to Michelle, second to Rachel, third to Bri. Bri obviously took it as it meant something because she is stressing that she got the last rose.
I’d love to hear from Matt if at this point he gets to decide who gets the roses in what order, or if the producers still have a big hand in it.
Maybe Bri’s been too calm and the producers want to get a reaction out of her?? Little do they know she is a QUEEN who cannot be manipulated.
That’s all for this week folks. We have exactly one week to prepare for the Bully Fest, I mean the Women Tell All. Ta ta!