Bachelor Fantasy Suites: Bri for everything

I have been anxiously awaiting this episode all week and let me tell you, IT DISAPPOINTED!!! This is usually one of the juiciest episodes all season, but I feel unsatisfied. Ughhh whatever let’s swan dive right in….

Throwback to Peter’s season when the girls had to live together during fantasy suite week and it was the most painfully awkward situation. This is giving me those same type of vibes. 

Oh shit Matt’s dad is coming this episode?? I thought I had at least a week to prepare for this reunion. 

I’m uncomfortable…

Matt: “If we wanted to celebrate we’d go to Chick-E-Cheese.” LOL 

Omg this is so hard for Matt. I don’t know what it’s like to be in his shoes, but I empathize deeply with him. 

That was really mature of Matt to forgive him. That is not easy to do.

Michelle’s Date

I see that subtle Canada Goose rain jacket Matthew James..

Matt describing his spa date with Michelle: “this is weird.” Couldn’t have said it better myself!

THE FUCKING NOISES the oatmeal and butter are making. I’m OUT NO THANK YOU.

Woah he admitted he felt the most comfortable with Michelle’s family. I feel like that is not something he is allowed to say.

The greatest love story this season is Matt and his turtlenecks. 

I would trust Michelle with my soul. She is such a good listener. 

Michelle is in love!!!!

Michelle comes back from her date and walks into Rachel spiraling.

Producers: “give Rachel the last date.” muahahahahaha.

Bri’s Date

Bri wearing a turtleneck because she knows they’re Matt’s favorite! Smart girl! 

God couldn’t Matt have told Bri she was hiking before the date so she could at least put on a sports bra! 

I feel like they probably only walked a half mile. 

This reminds me of when Ivan last season had his overnight date in a trailer while the others had luxurious suites.

Wow Bri throwing in a little raunchy joke! This girl is the whole package!

Thank goodness they are getting out of that tent…I seriously would have started a revolution if Bri had to have her overnight out there in the wilderness.

Soooo um how does Bri get her hair that silky smooth? Asking for me.

And Bri is in love!!! There’s so much love in the air!! I wish they could all end up with Matt. 

Bri is verrrryyy smitten waking up next to Matt 😉

Okay Bri and Michelle had the same morning after scene …

Bri: “I got to know really intimate parts about him.” HEHEHE. 

Rachel’s Date

No turtleneck today? What did Rachel do to deserve this special treatment? 

She didn’t give us a run and jump. Shit, girl must be really down in the dumps.  

Matt talking about Rachel’s skydiving landing: “when I saw you laying there, I wanted you to be okay.” 

No shit Matt! Not like you were going to say you wanted her to be dead!!!

Okay so like he only says he’s falling in love with Rachel??? Is that not clear proof that she is the winner??

Matt is probably so sick of having to talk about his dad in every one of his overnights. If I was in his position, I would forget who I told what to. Kind of like my mom with me and my siblings!

Every firework show is a complete waste of money because all they do is makeout during it! 

No morning after with Rachel??? He must have told her she was the one and they cut it out or something. 

Rose Ceremony

Well the women are looking SNATCHED at the rose ceremony and I just know Bri or Michelle are going home and I am unwell.

My heart aches for Bri. Poor thing 🙁 Bri for Bachelorette, Bri for President, Bri for my mom, Bri for everything.

I might take back everything I said about Bri. She likes her marshmallows burnt?!? I have found her one flaw.

Well I finish writing this with a sad heart and I guess a little excitement for next week? We are finally going to get answers on After The Final Rose so that I am looking forward to. Until then betches!

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